Thursday, October 25, 2012

This is the WLOCP Week and It Seems Like A Wake

Living on Amelia Island, I always look forward to the World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party but this year it feels like we are awaiting a funeral. The team has barely had a pulse in the last two outings and the defense has been pronounced dead. Unless they can reanimate like in The Walking Dead and rise up to start eating Gator flesh... well... we are waiting for a funeral.

This would be an appropriate death dirge chant...
Where will we all be 1000 years from now? (hunnnhh)
Where will we all be 1000 years from now? (hunnnhh)
Where will we all be 1000 years from now? (hunnnhh)
Keep repeating that while pushing the boulder up the hill, only to have it roll back down.

I usually look at this game and try to figure out what I think the Dawgs must do to win the thing. But, at this point, I am going the other way and channeling Munson at his poor-mouthing best. There is no way we can beat these guys. They are just too big and physical and they have all the momentum. Our defense is adrift like a rudderless ship. And while our offensive line is struggling to block for the run, their pass protection is terrible. Our Quarterback is 0-49 against ranked teams. Mark Richt is 0-211 against ranked teams. Our University President is 0-976 against ranked teams. The Gators are ranked #3. We are doomed. Let the talk about the 4 of the last 19 begin anew (ignoring that we did win 3 of the last 8). We will be lucky if we even score. This could be as bad as Herschel's final game against Florida, but in reverse, in which we lose 44-0.

There is only one thing that gives me even the slightest glimmer of hope and that is the shape of the football. If the damn thing was round, we would be done. But, it ain't round and therefore it could take a few funny hops our way. We will need every break, every weird occurrence, every freak accident, etc to go our way. Our team just isn't man enough to win this toe-to-toe, mano-to-mano. To put it another way, we will have a slim chance of winning if we don't play like we are in Jacksonville and the Gators play like they are Georgia playing in Jacksonville. This means that we don't drop first down and touchdown passes, but the Gators do. This means we return a kickoff or punt or interception for a touchdown, but the Gators don't. This means that we don't have any touchdowns negated by penalty, but the Gators do. This means that we don't have a kick blocked or give up a fake punt, but the Gators do both. You see, these odds are long... but, in the immortal words of Lloyd Christmas, "You're telling me we've got a chance!" It's slim...we're talking frog's hair slim. But we do have a chance. And for that infinitesimally small chance... I will once again make the trek down to Jax for 4 hours of tailgating followed by hours of misery or ecstasy or a torturous mixture of both. 

While this may seem like a funeral, I will be praying for a resurrection. Come on Dawgs... Hunker the Fuck Down.

1 comment:

Amanda said...

Looking someone at the funeral is a creepy one.. Amanda Vanderpool